Oh. Yeah. Mrs. Stupid is going about 10-15 mph slower than the flow of traffic on the superhighway... in the hammer lane. Getting stuck behind Mrs. Stupid is about the most annoying thing that happens to most of us in daily life.A Maryland woman was shocked after she received a traffic ticket -- but it wasn't for speeding.In fact, she was driving 2 mph under the speed limit.She was driving in the left lane of I-95 on Laurel last Friday when she was pulled over and cited for failing to move right. According to the citation, she had been driving 63 mph in a 65 mph zone.
And naturally the Safety Nazis have to get involved. This comment is classic Safety Nazi. Behold:
"The reason [the ticket] is silly is because it's sending the wrong message," said John Townsend of AAA Mid-Atlantic. "And that is, 'We will tolerate you driving at more than the speed limit, but it you drive below the speed limit, then you're penalized for that."
Yes friends, if we all just drove a little slower, obeyed the speed limits and made allowances for Mrs. Stupid, things would all be rainbows and fluffy bunnies. Safety first, you know.
I'd just like to say that Mr. John Townsend of AAA Mid-Atlantic is a damn fool. Mrs. Stupid is not being penalized for driving too slowly. She's being penalized for creating an unsafe condition on the road.
The thing that causes accidents is not the speed of the cars. Its the DIFFERENCE in speed between the cars. So if you are a normal human being driving on the superhighway, in the fast lane, you are going about 70-75 mph. Because the speed limit is 65, and the cops won't ding you for less than 10 over. That is the reality of how cars move on the road. I guarantee you that Mr. John Townsend of AAA Mid-Atlantic drives this way. Everybody does.
Except Mrs. Stupid. She's the vacuous imbecile who can't conform to the reality of the way traffic moves. If she's doing 63 mph in the -slow- lane, that's just fine. Everybody in the slow lane is doing 63, 59, whatever. Its ok, because its the slow lane. Where you go slow. But she's not in the slow lane. She's in the fast lane. Where the people go who want to drive FAST, damnit! So now they're tailgating the hell out of her, and people are closing on the 63 mph clog her vehicle created at 75 mph and hitting the brakes, hard.
What gets created is a lovely little knot of pissed off individuals highly motivated to pass, plus a roadblock all ready for some moron talking/texting on their cellphone to ram into. Result, ten car pileup on a clear day. With fatalities.
Mrs. Stupid is a friggin' MENACE is what she is. That's why Mrs. Stupid got a ticket. And that's why Mr. John Townsend of AAA Mid-Atlantic is a damn fool who should choke himself before he utters another damn fool comment like that in public.
Let us all now offer up a little prayer of thanks for the Maryland state trooper who pulled the stupid bitch over and gave her a healthy wake-up!!! slap in the wallet. We love you Officer Calabash, wherever you are.
The Tailgating Phantom
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